restart my heart. i've been in this place a while now and could use a change of scenery. suppose the scenery could use a change of me too. the days are getting longer and the light is staying lighter, which helps.

i try to slow down, moving at a blinding pace, everything is blurred.

try to alter my course, looking around me... everything is blending into one large in-distinguishable mass.

try to gently open my eyes while keeping my eyes wide open, my eyes have felt so heavy lately. the longer i'm here the harder it seems to be to be an observer, an adventurer of my surroundings. if i pick up and go will it change? if i root down and stay will it not? i will make attempts to keep my eyes and my heart as open as possible. that may be the only way for me to see where i need to go, to see what i feel compelled to do with myself.

i watch others follow their paths and try to follow, but their path isn't mine. their paths are so enticing. my path is overgrown and is serious need of some trail maintenance. if i could only find the tools. maybe i'll sit in this field a while longer, watching as one by one, my friends and family disappear behind the forest edge down their seemingly cleared trails.

i'll sit here for a minute longer.